Living in a collective

I’ve always suspected it. I blame my childhood for it (growing up in a big family with 4 brothers).

...I would love to live in a collective. (Darling, my husband, you know this already and agree with me) 

But imagine the following

  • there’s always someone you can talk to (or be quiet with) when you get home from a long day. Someone will always be in the mood for a chat (or be quiet)
  • There’s always someone to cook food with, or eat dessert with, or late night snack with, or have wine with (ok I’m getting carried away now, I know)
  • There’s always someone that can watch your baby when you have to run out and get something in the store, or go to the gym (that would be amazing!)
  •  There’s always someone you can borrow clothes from. Unless they’re not the same size as you, which often is the case for me now being pregnant. But at least you can influence their choice of warderobe and tell them to get really stretchy clothes then so that they can fit you too. 
  • There’s always someone that cares about it being tidy so you will care about it too just enough to do the dishes that late evening. Or just arrange a cleaner once a week (if you hate cleaning like I do) 

Anyone else?  

IMG_8573.JPG

Newly found superpower skills...

Realized that becoming a parent has given me some new superpower skills.

  • Super ultra strong - Increased my shoulder strength - I can definitely lift heavier weights at the gym these days

  • Super ultra awareness - Be on constant alert if she decides to jump down the sofa, stairs or any other height that she has yet to learn.

  • Super ultra rechargeable- Being able to reset my mental to-do list or daily targets - I thought I had learned how to do this from my previous job (where priorities constantly changed) but little did I know…

  • Super ultra idea generator - Brainstorm and come up with ideas like crazy - if you’ve had a toddler on a plane for more than 3 hours (actually let me rephrase that to 1 hour) in a row you know what I’m talking about.

 Valeria’s superpower skill is definitely being able to eat at the same time as sucking her thumb. They call it comfort food for a reason….hahaha

Valeria’s superpower skill is definitely being able to eat at the same time as sucking her thumb. They call it comfort food for a reason….hahaha

Clothes

...hanging around (pun definitely intended). What should I do with them? Realising more and more that  

  1. most of my clothes don’t fit me at the moment so there’s no point in keeping them in my warderobe.  
  2. Sorting them out is definitely an option but are they even worth saving? will I even wear them again?
  3. it took me about 6 months to get into them again after the first pregnancy
  4. at which time I realised that most of my clothes were work related and not very suitable or comfortable to sit on floors (entertaining the baby) in...
  5. and that most of them will be out of fashion by the next time they will fit me...
  6. and I don’t even think they will be appropriate for the climate I’m planning on living in then...

Who wants some clothes?!!!! 

IMG_8113.JPG

a less successful attempt ordering some maternity clothes from Asos. 

Learnings from birthday parties

We’ve had a weekend filled with birthday parties. Both Saturday and Sunday. It’s been....lets call it interesting.

Interesting as in when you use it in the English language for when something isn’t interesting at all but rather catastrophic! Not like when you use it in the Swedish language and actually mean that it’s interesting. 

Learnings

  • Valeria will not sleep at all during days like these. 
  • Drink an extra cup of coffee as Valeria will not sleep at all during those days
  • other kids at parties are amazing because the effect of “acting as a herd”  kicks in and they all run around following each other.
  • I will not disturb my daughter when she’s in the “acting as a herd” mood. She wants to be left alone and continuously walk up and down stairs if there are any. If disturbed she will throw herself backwards and scream without any thought that she will hit the floor.
  • Did I mention she didn’t sleep at all during these days... 

 

IMG_8550.JPG

Best part of the weekend, when my husband made me a sandwich. Mostly cause I would eat his otherwise but any ways :) 

IMG_8551.JPG

My bump is starting to be useful finally 😂🙌 

Bad Mum or Superwoman?

You know when you read or hear something and it just feels like the biggest epiphany every! Like it was meant to be, like this is what you’ve waited for your whole life (or at least a year) and that you finally feel at home and like things are making sense.

I had this feeling reading the book “Dålig mamma eller superkvinna”. It translates to “Bad mum or superwoman”. Unfortunately only exists in Swedish so far.

IMG_8262.JPG

Therese Albrechtson has written the book together with Maria Otterling. Therese compiles her own and other women’s experiences to highlight the challenges that affect women who want to have a career at the same time as having a family.

I’M JUST IN LOVE with it so I will have to share some bits. Maybe it will even be a regular type of post….mohhahahaha!!!!!

Stay tuned - will publish some of my favourite bits the coming days.  

  AND have to say - the interviewed women in the book are all my new role models now and source of inspiration.

 

Importance of Swedish Fika

Let’s talk about something serious!  

SWEDISH FIKA 

  • It’s the phenomenon you’ve probably never heard of if you haven’t been to Sweden.  
  • ....and to be honest can mean some dirty words in other languages. 
  • It’s what drives the staff at work because they get that caffein kick during the day on a regular basis to keep them going. 
  • It’s what brings people together in general - a forum to whine, solve world problems, come up with new world problems, talk about more important stuff such as diets, how you are refurbishing your house etc. 
IMG_8492.JPG

How it’s done?  

  • Twice a day, usually around 10am and 3pm.  
  • Drink either coffee or tea (although you will be frowned upon if you drink tea) 
  • eat the pastry offered, usually a cinnamonbun or something similar. Don’t decline the pastry, you will be frowned upon again. 

 Proof of importance - it’s scheduled even today at a startup conference that I’m at. See below. 

IMG_8497.JPG

Other proof of importance  - when I worked as a management consultant Mostly working with municipalities I was usually interrupted when it was time for Fika. If I arrived to the client at 9.30 they stopped me at 10am saying it’s time for Fika. 

Why shorten hours you work per day when you can increase the amount of Fika

Back to me being a tech geek

I know this is a SUPER materialistic problem which is not really a problem, but more of a problem I’m creating for myself because I CAN NOT DECIDE….

Here it comes….

…Should I buy the new Iphone or not?!!!!

It seems terribly expensive - but at the same time I’m the type of person that uses my phone as a computer/phone/camera. I use it for everything - I plan MY LIFE in it! I have APPS for EVERYTHING …

So what do you think?

(Feeling very indecisive)

IMG_8470.JPG

Getting out of the house

This may seem like a weird title but if you have kids you might feel the same. Could just be me of course that sometimes have days where I’ve booked something, it gets cancelled and then it seems like the day has just disappeared and it’s easier to just stay at home instead. 

My tips and tricks to get out of the house  of course my very professional opinion: 

  • Drink an extra cup of coffee in the morning and mentally set your mind the night before on what you're going to do.
  • Start getting ready 2 hours before you actually have to leave the house. 
  • Be prepared to have to change diaper and clothes just before you're leaving. As it for some reason always tends to happen then.
  • If baby is screaming just rush and get out quickly because they will magically be quiet as soon as you get out.
  • Call for backup like a parent or friend. And worst case someone that will help you.
  • If that doesn't work, give up and give it a go tomorrow

We succeeded this morning, went to kidssongthingi and then had pancake lunch  

IMG_8393.JPG

I did something scary

You know that feeling when you’re really sure you’re doing the right thing. But then after you’ve done it you’re not so sure any more and start contemplating whether you should have done it or not. Well, I have that specific feeling. It feels scary, so maybe that’s exactly why it was the right thing to do.

I shared my birth story with a website called www.positivforlossning.se Their aim is to help other women through spreading positive birth stories. I had a positiv experience although our daughter came in breech, that’s why I shared my story.

Hoping that someone out there waiting to give birth gets comfort from reading it.

They are looking for more stories to share so please get in touch with them and send them your story if you want to. positivforlossning@gmail.com 

My story is in Swedish but use google translate for other languages.  

 

 

What motivates you?

...the possibility of succeeding? 

or

...the fear of failing?  

In times of being able to reflect I often realize that the reason I don't do things is because I'm afraid of failing. A.F.R.A.I.D O.F F.A.I.L.I.N.G.....how stupid is that! 

IMG_8375.JPG

I know I'm a cocktail surfer that catches 5 nice waves and then stops, not to ruin the feeling, in case the next wave will smash me. But what does it really mean - fear of failing. To me when it comes to surfing it means I get smashed, a near death experience until I reach the beach again. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit but you get my point. 

But when it comes to other stuff like having the presentation I wasn't properly prepared for, taking on a project or new role I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it always goes okay. Sure, I've failed a lot - but that's when I've also learned the most. 

I guess my thought of the day is I’m gonna continue to remind myself of the possibility of succeeding and stop being afraid of failing!

What motivates you?

Brain undermining my well-being

Why does my brain undermine the well-being of my body sometimes?

I came to think of this yesterday. Been super tired the last couple of evenings and just chilled after putting Valeria to sleep. But yesterday it hit me, I have to go to the gym! Although it doesn’t happen as frequently as before my work outs do happen but in slightly different forms

  • Wrestling Valeria when she doesn’t want to go home from the playground

  • Trying to change her diaper

  • Running after Valeria at playgrounds

  • Doing a form of squats when playing silly games such as squatting and sounding like a lion at the same time. For some reason she thinks this is hilarious so I do it a million times (she has to be messing with me)

So yesterday I decided not to listen to my brain and just went. And it actually felt amazing! and this morning I felt even more amazing!

IMG_8362.JPG

Will stop listening to my brain and just go.

Holiday Issues

IMG_8031.JPG

Given the incredibly rainy weather today I started thinking about holidays. And when things doesn’t really go as planned. I have a couple in mind

  • when you pack last minute and can’t find your passport. Was sure it was in one place, still couldn’t find it. Luckily I could make a temporary one. (Found it years later inside a folder that was in that place - who puts a passport in a folder) 
  • accidentally checked in my phone. Note - I have all my cards on my phone and it was NOT a direct flight. Was first time flying by myself with Valeria. 
  • booked return flight for the wrong day (realised when trying to check in at the airport)
  • booked ticket to the wrong city (realised on the way to the airport) 
  • countless stomach bugs for which my best friend for a while was “Imodium” 
  • denied entry on flight due to missing yellow fever card
  •  Couldn’t find my passport again...
  • Gone to be wrong airport... 
IMG_6910.JPG

 What holiday issues have you had?

We made it - a sentimental flashback

This week has been the first week of Valeria's life as a 1 year old. Not as an 11 month old, 5 month old or a 3 month old BUT a 1 year old. Never understood the obsessiveness of mentioning months before I actually had a kid myself. But SO MUCH HAPPENS during the first year in their development so it DOES make a huge difference in regards to how many months they are.

 Vegetable state - a few days old

Vegetable state - a few days old

They go from "vegetable state" which means just lying there sleeping and eating, to "hamster state" where they're starting to move arms and legs with no control what so ever, to "small person" state when they are much more aware of what's going on and have more control over their body. 

 Hamster state - more present but no control over arms and legs

Hamster state - more present but no control over arms and legs

Instead of saying she's 0 years old I've definitely been telling people she's 3 months and 2 weeks old or she's 6 months and 25 days old. You get my point...

IMG_6703.JPG

For some reason I realized during this week that having celebrated her first birthday feels like a milestone in our family. We made it kind of feeling! And we came out on the other side. I haven't thought about it as being hard but now it truly feels like an accomplishment. 

IMG_8087.JPG

Anyone else feel the same?

 

What do you need to recharge?

Let's face it, I need to recharge my batteries on a regular basis. At the moment on a much more regular basis than before. Specially when that extra coffee isn't helping.

IMG_8321.JPG

Weekends used to be a way for me to recharge. But to be honest, weekends are usually the same as weekdays at the moment with the exception of my husband being at home - which is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! (can you be addicted to a person? I think I'm obsessed...)

Methods to recharge...USED TO BE

  • Going out partying with my friends until late in the morning
  • Sleeping all day or watching series for a full day
  • Going to the gym

The ones I've found so far NOW

  • Going to the gym - this one is still there
  • Meeting up for coffee or "fika" with someone. (If you don't speak Swedish google it)
  • Definitely date nights with my husband, or date weekends are even better (nights are not ideal at the moment as I still get tired being 19 weeks pregnant)
  • A weekend in the forest - coming up with my brother! Walking, walking, walking and sleeping in a tent is just like magic. 

Trying to come up with other creative things I can do that doesn't require as much planning or a babysitter - any tips?!

How to survive playgrounds

I've come to the point, the point where I'm starting to hang out at playgrounds so that Valeria can run around. It makes a huge difference to her mood.

IMG_8126.JPG

Problem, or should I say challenge (as I like to view things from the more positive side) is that I think it's really boring at playgrounds. Even when I was little I preferred to stay inside and play on my neighbors computer game instead of going out. 

But I mean, let's face it, I have to go out with her, it makes her happy, so started thinking of things that make it more fun. 

  • Go all in and pretend I'm a kid myself and join in. Can be a bit hard though in the playgrounds not very suitable for grownups. Specially the swings as my bum tends to grow in the same speed as my belly at the moment which means they're NOT super comfortable to sit in.
  • Bring lots of coffee and sit and chill on the side. Although coffee tends to make things more fun this is NOT ideal as she runs around and has no perspective at the moment what so ever on what she can and can't do. 

But yesterday I realized the absolute win win - get back-up! Call as many as possible! You can hang out whilst you run after your kids and sometimes a sort of flock behavior is created and they run after each other. 

IMG_8308.JPG

More tips anyone?

Trying to get things done

Having a one year old at home is truly a challenge. Not because she doesn’t sleep, eat or is happy etc because she is. But because of the irregularity of everything at the moment. I might have planned to do something one day and everything gets thrown into the air because she decided to change it. 

Let me elaborate further - she can have slept exactly the same hours everyday for two weeks but that one day that I have a phone meeting during this time, she decides it's not at all time to sleep yet and just changes her whole schedule. 

Coming to think of it it's like having a full time job and doing something on the side. Except this full time job is a bit more unreliable with the hours than an ordinary one. So maybe more like being a full time doctor who’s trying to start something on the side but regularly gets called in for emergencies.

Be creative and flexible is the solution for me at least. And not to give up - the day isn't completely over because it didn't go as I planned I just have to try again later. 

Never! Give! Up! 

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

I started thinking about this a couple of weeks ago. But I just couldn't think of anything. There Must Be Something I’ve done lately that I did for the first time....otherwise this definitely have to change. Because personally I really enjoy discovering new things and putting myself in situations when I'm nervous or scared. Okay maybe not super scared as when my husband totally thinks I'm awesome at skiing and takes me off-pist but a little bit to steep. I am awesome at pretending I can ski, whilst really if the hill is too steep I'm singing a song to myself loudly whilst skiing down just to calm myself.

This morning I got it though- I celebrated my daughters 1st birthday yesterday. That was definitely the last time I did something for the first time. I wasn't that nervous about it but I think it counts anyways.  

IMG_8247.JPG

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Pregnancy hormones

We have to talk about pregnancy hormones and how they effect me currently! 

How I usually am  

  • Know what I want
  • very to the point
  • make rational and quick decisions  
  • very few arguments in general, more discuss things from rational point of views. 
  • never cry 

How I am when effected by hormones  

  • have no idea what I want
  • need a lot of me/alone time (usually in the morning for some reason)
  • quiet and unsocial 
  • make a big thing out of nothing  
  • cry like 3 times a day. To the point that my oldest brother has a competition with my husband. Who can get me to cry most times. Which when I’m not hormonal think is hilarious. 

Summary = I become the opposite of myself. Luckily this only happens a few hours at a time a few times a week and hasn't taken over my life completely yet......or has it..... mohahhahahah

We all have superpowers

I believe we all have superpowers. Maybe not powers such as flying, being incredible strong or the ability to become invisible. Although these things would all be very useful. Imagine if you could just fly with your kid anywhere without having to go through customs, chase them around the airport, entertain them in your lap for a couple of hours (because they only seem to fall asleep in their bed these days) waiting for luggage...well you get my point. Just picking up the luggage and kid and then flying yourself to the destination of your choice would be absolutely amazing!

Back to the point - I think we all have superpowers - things or should I say qualities that allow us to switch to that extra gear in times of need. 

Superpowers such as...

  • being able to ignore that extra sweat that seems to produce in liters whenever you're about to have an important interview or presentation. 
  • having the guts to quit that job that you're not happy with although you don't have anything new on the table
  • working those extra hours just to reach your goal despite not having slept the whole night because you might be worrying about them 
  • finding that extra energy when your partner is also tired and share
  • ignoring your fears and doing things anyway
  • not giving up
 Hiking in Abisko earlier this summer.

Hiking in Abisko earlier this summer.

The one I have? - being able to ignore the person next to me although they are chewing extremely loud (I really have to make an effort here)