The tired post...

Yup…this is another post about being tired…remember I wrote about it earlier? You can read it here otherwise.

But bare with me, I have an idea. Let’s play the game “switch the word “tired” to another word like “happy” instead “to change my mindset.

So, what made/makes me”happy” lately?

  • It made me happy when Valeria got a cold last week and couldn’t fall asleep one night until 3am and then the next night woke up at 5am.

  • It makes me happy when we don’t have an elevator and I carry Valeria first down to the stroller and then up some stairs with the stroller and then down again to get out. I’m too happy to count the stairs to give you the exact amount.

…OK.HANG.ON!…this didn’t turn out as funny as I thought it would…

Let’s change it to the other way around instead…

Let’s write what makes me happy as though it makes me tired instead…

  • It makes me “tired” that I didn’t have to carry 23kg worth of groceries because I found a good delivery online.

  • It makes me “tired” that my husband is home this week because he’s so funny and I want to spend every week, day, hour, second! with him.

  • It makes me “tired” that Valeria usually sleeps 8pm to 7am because I get so much chill out time in the evening.

There we go - that was better :D

and to finish it of with a tired picture 😅 

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Update Gestational Diabetes

A few weeks ago I found out I have gestational diabetes during my pregnancy. This was a bit of a shocker at the time but now seems pretty average compared to other more shocking things going on….it’s all about perspective in life people…

So what happened since?

  • Measured blood sugar 7 times a day for 2 weeks. Got reeeeeaaaallyyyyy good at using the needle best way possible so it wouldn’t hurt. Except for once when then needle got too deep and it hurt like shit.

  • Stuck to normal food during these two weeks to test what worked and didn’t. Meaning, still ate pasta, white bread etc BUT cut out sweets and desserts. Also meaning continued to eat regularly - breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack…I eat often…haha.

  • …ok not fully…had a muffin to test what happened and got too high of a value immediately.

  • …ok and have to admit that I was really craving sugary things during these two weeks, so started eating more which definitely did the trick!

  • Had a follow up with nutritionist after two weeks and all was good except for a few morning values.

  • What didn’t work? white bread as a snack, nor too sugary things such as muffins etc.

  • Now measuring blood sugar 7 times 3 days a week to keep a track on it. And have set up a day during the week when I’m “allowed” to eat something sugary if I crave it (common I’m a grown up).

  • Woop Woop!

  • …Oh…and I admit it…since then my hormonal dips have been far less than they were before. Husband thinks it can be because I cut out sugar….well….

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Sugary things! 

Valeria 15 months

Not only was it husbands birthday but Valeria also turned 15 months. On her monthly birthdays we usually wake her up with presents, cake and singing….NOT!…

To be honest I have to count the months every time someone asks but since soooo much happens with her development I thought I’d list a few things.

Eat - She eats what we eat. Meaning exactly just that, I eat pasta carbonara, she eats pasta carbonara, I eat pizza, she eats pizza, I eat fish grating, she eats fish grating. It’s probably more what she eats that I DON’T eat. She eats fruitbars, I don’t, she eats white bread, I don’t, she eats “majskrokar”, I don’t, well ok, sometimes just one, they’re so weird but oh so effective to keep her busy when she’s cranky.

Sleep - sleeps once during the day after lunchtime, usually for 1.5-2h but sometimes randomly 3h. Then falls asleep during the night about 8pm - 7 or 8am. I’m very hesitant to write this because it feels like everytime I write something about her sleeping habits she senses it and goes all wild starting to wake up in the nights, refusing to sleep in the evenings, stuff like that!

Plays with - books, loves her toothbrush, postcards. Specially walks around with the postcard if he’s on it saying daddy (when he travels).

Things she does - hides behind my back when I sit on the floor, and plays pick a boo. Wakes up on the wrong side sometimes, screams and nothing can save her except for ipad.

Things she says - a lot of random stuff that I have no clue what it means but also a lot of “nose”, “daddy”, up, down, book, shoes etc. All in Swedish at the moment.

There you go, latest update!  

 

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Pregnancy Update Week 31

As we’re starting to get closer to THE due date I thought I’d have some more regular updates on the pregnancy.

So, what’s going on during this week?

  • size of baby will be about 37 cm and way around 1.76kg at the end of this week. Fruit wise that’s either a winter squash, a large cabbage or a summer cantaloupe depending on the app I check!

  • organs are almost fully developed, lungs take the longest time. Baby just has to gain weight now. AND since I am as well I have retired all trousers and will now attempt a “super comfy clothes but lighten it up with bling bling accessories” kind of life.

  • it’s cramped in my belly and my stomach is now so big that it’s affecting my mobility - word!

  • body may have begun to react with contractions when you do to much which is sign to ease up a bit - well, word again on that one!

  • every breath requires about 20 percent more oxygen and more carbon dioxide. Well, that explains the breathlessness and why I’m so slow!

  • Body is preparing for the delivery and I’ll sleep worse, wake up more often and will have a hard time concentrating. Hmmm, don’t think this is a new one to be honest…haha

  • It’s common to become introvert because of the mental preparation for parenthood and for the delivery - well still not the case, I’ve been dying to socialize because Valeria has been sick and husband has been away travelling.

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The adventures of the car seat

It was tough, there were regrets, it was a fight but it was ALSO A SUCCESS!

I finally got around to buying a new car seat a few weeks ago. Or, I wouldn’t have gotten around to it, to be honest, if it wasn’t for my friend who found someone that had twins and therefore was selling two of them. EXACTLY the one that I had been googling as well (for a long 2 minutes). So I.WAS.IN!

Have to be honest though, I did have regrets when she told me where we had to pick them up. It would be far out, close to an IKEA and I would have to take public transport and then walk 20 min (which in pregnancy walking means 30 min).

But we did it! 

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Don’t think I was in my right mind here. Definitely wouldn’t do it now.  

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Week 29 oops I mean week 30

Started writing this a week ago when I was 29 weeks pregnant. But time flew by and here I am being 30 weeks (29+5) pregnant. The summary still applies though….I think

  • Less hormonal and don’t have as many mood swings as I did a couple of weeks ago. This miiiiiigt have something to do with the fact that I basically stopped eating cookies and candy (except for once a week) as I found out I have digestive diabetes. At least my husband thinks so….let’s say no

  • Happier in general…well yes, if you don’t count weird stuff going on right now that is not in my control, I’m generally a much happier person than earlier in the pregnancy.

  • loooots of movement. Yup! Feels like this one is moving more than Valeria did. Maybe a kind warning for what’s to come?….Oh shit!….

  • tired but know my limits…this one definitely applies. You’ll have me resting when Valeria does most of the times. Or bribing her with youtube so that I can rest a bit more, or read books in the bed…haha

  • go easier to bed early. Read 9 preferably 8. Except for when she decides to stay up until 3am because she was getting a cold, or when my husband travels because I find it difficult to fall asleep without him…oh shit..that’s this whole week…lets scrap this point…

  • wake up earlier in the morning… YES! I started waking up before Valeria. Isn’t that charming…  

  • Totallyy fine hanging out by myself…well not this week…I’m one of those mum’s currently that you meet that you can TELL haven’t met anyone for a while and really needs to get out. A little bit starry eyed (from coffee), always smiling (because it’s so nice to get out of the house), overly social (even talks to the cashier for a while which is totally weird in Sweden)

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That early fresh morning look while toddler is still sleeping. Normally I would say don’t mind the mess, but DO MIND THE MESS - Me having energy to build Ikea stuff is pretty epic!

A deep and meaningful post

I’ve written so many drafts lately but not published a single thing. It has definitely been a crazy last couple of weeks on all fronts which have contributed to this.

Reality took over an YES I’m going to be annoying as fuck and not tell you about the details.

The point is...hmmm...what is the point?  The point for me is to

  • continue
  • go back to basics
  • prioritise and
  • focus on stuff that gives more energy
  • or actually change the above one to do what I can to preserve energy. 
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Sometimes you just have to make pancakes instead 🙌🤣 

Blockade

I admit it. I’m in a bit of a blockade right now. Can you say that? Blockade? Too tired to google. Well well, I’m sure you know what I mean...

Any how - I figured out why...I’m just too tired and doing some mega ultra prioritising of energy at the moment. It’s so well integrated in my mind that I wasn’t even aware I did it. Until I remembered I haven’t posted in the blog for a while. I have to admit I think it’s a pretty awesome talent though... and think I’ll even add it to my list of superpowers you get when you’re pregnant “only do what’s absolutely necessary super power”.

Now that I think about it, this also made me very good at delegating at my previous job 🙌 woop woop!  

So, whilst I do some prioritising of chilling out in bed you can enjoy some pictures of my 28 week old bump in a new dress I bought today. Yes, I treated myself because I was up between 2-6am with our daughter who “all of a sudden thinks this is a good time to hang out”. And yes, it feels like I’m 38 weeks pregnant instead of 28. That’s how tired I am today and after asking Instagram I know why - it’s because I’m home with Valeria and not at an office during the day. Need.To.Plan.More.Office.Time!

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Update in pregnancy

My updates of this pregnancy are veeeeery scattered. I’m still coming to terms with me being a mum, none the less, that I’m about to become a mum of two! Realising more and more that this is happening. Strange right?! That it takes some time. I mean it’s not I’m not noticing the pregnancy now that I’m in week 27  

  • Abdicated from trousers most of the time and made friends with leggings and tights - check!

  • getting hard to tie my shoes - check!

  • have energy enough to go out with Valeria tops once a day - check!

  • gestational diabetes - check!

  • Apparently have reached the stage of having the pregnancy glow! (As people around me keep saying which is good because I feel everything other than glowing) check!

  • officially can’t walk unlimited km any longer. 30 min is maximum. - check!

  • Officially found the cosiest sweater/dress on Cos that I’m going to live in this winter - check!

 

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There will be a time

There will be a time for going to more house festivals.  

There will be a time for having energy enough to dance all night long.  

There will be a time for drinking more good expensive wine

There will be a time to feel my body is strong again

There will be a time when I can speed things up with my company and go more all in

There will be a time when it’s nice and chill to fly with our kids

There will be a time when things feel more calm (okay maybe not, calm is not our thing it’s more doing all at once)

There will be a time for all of this but now

...let’s chill the fuck down, take one day at a time and accept everything is going in slow motion.  

Patience is key 🙌❤️ 

 

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Thought of the evening

What if I wasn’t pregnant now. It just hit me the other evening when my husband and I were “solving world problems” in between his calls as usual.

I mean - just imagine the energy I would have if I wasn’t pregnant. OMG it would be crazy! Not even kidding! Maybe I would be one of those people who runs marathons (ok let’s not go that far) but you know what I mean.  

I’m totally going to remind myself that my current state (specially this week for some reason being pregnant 25+4 weeks)  “taking two naps a day, sleeping 10 hours per night and not doing ANYTHING” is totally fine because I will have more energy eventually and because “my mum is here and taking care of EVERYTHING” so going to enjoy it whilst it lasts 😂 

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My daughter totally gets me  

Flight cancelled

Sometimes it just happens.

You know those times when you’re really excited and on your way to the airport? or wait....you’ve had a full on schedule, and kind of enjoyed being by yourself for a bit, so it is on your way to the airport you realise how excited you are to see your family again. SO as you’re on your way to the airport you are happy that it’s only a few hours left before you get to see them again.

This was me yesterday. Had it all lined up. Late night direct flight and even managed to score an empty seat next to me after a man asked me to switch because he wanted to sit next to his wife. Win win and win!

Put on my awesome headphones that shuts me out of the rest of the world, put on a series I and boooom relaxed.

Then! piloted starts talking...as they usually do...but I catch the phrase at the end “...hopefully we will lift”.

Now, I’ve been on “a few” flights and normally don’t listen that carefully but THAT caught my attention. They usually don’t say THAT!

Didn’t have to wait for long, pilot spoke again. Air space was “too full”, which meant our take of time wouldn’t be until in another 1 hour and 20 min AND by that time airport of arrival would have closed. This meant also our flight was cancelled! We were told to leave the plane and go to the info desk at arrivals.  

As I’m super fast thinking and super ultra fast at the moment (being pregnant gives you these superpowers) I started walking my fastest. Plan was to walk past as many as I could to get ahead in the queue I know going to happen. At the same time I checked what other flights there were AND walked straight out of where you picked up your luggage and the flight company desk with the large queue....thinking suckers...they’re in the wrong place...there’s a desk outside and I will be the first!

...or maybe not so much...There was no one at that desk and I couldn’t get back in again to the luggage area...I was the sucker!

...so...“A couple of minutes” and “a bit of queuing” later (I was the last one) I was on my way to a hotel night having had my flight rebooked for a non direct one super early in the morning instead.

Tadaaaaa all good and some more unexpected alone time. I mean, what am I gonna do 😂 (although I admit I was super annoyed and tired and juuuuust wanted to get to hubby and daughter instantly)

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Luckily I’m never alone and V2 kept me company. 

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A VERY early morning! 

Gestational Diabetes

Here we go - Being 25 weeks pregnant means more check ups and a glucose test. So this week has been a “testing” week (pun definitely intended). I was at the midwife, took some blood tests, measured the belly and listened to the heart beat. Always cool to listen because I still haven’t really realized we have another daughter in there. Felt safe that everything looks okay. 

Then yesterday I did a glucose test. They do this to discover any gestational diabetes you might get when you’re pregnant. When you’re pregnant your body needs 2-3 times more insulin but due to various reasons it might have difficulties producing this. You fast for 8 hours (no food or drinks) then take a blood test, drink a a glucose concentrated drink (200ml that contains 75g of glucose), they take a second blood sample after an hour and then a third blood sample after another hour.

When I did this test during the first pregnancy I had no idea that I was supposed to be there for about 2-3 hours. So when they told me to sit down and wait for 2 hours after the first blood sample I was truly surprised. Then quickly realized I had gotten unexpected chill time of work and then got happy again.

This time I was more prepared and was watching Netflix in a comfy chair to pass the time which was really nice. I wasn’t, however, prepared for the test result - I have gestational diabetes! I mean really?! Have to admit I was pretty confused when the nurse started going through how I have to take my blood sugar 7 times a day the coming two weeks to begin with. My confusion didn’t get any better from the fact I still hadn’t had any breakfast or coffee and it was now 11 am in the morning which means 1+1 to me equaled 5….haha.

So yesterday I had a day of - “what did I do wrong? how could I have prevented this? what do I/We need to do to make it better? How will this effect V2? etc”…

…after this morning when I got further information (I was the only one there) I got back on track - “This is fine! We will definitely fix this! good thing they noticed now! very thankful it will hopefully go away after I give birth! baby is safe! I couldn’t have done anything different! will be interesting to see how my body reacts to different foods through keeping track on blood sugar!”

So here we go


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During the test when I had to drink this lovely sugary lime flavoured drink  

 My new best friend that will help me keep track!

My new best friend that will help me keep track!

The vicious circle of bribing

I’ve had some juggles with Valeria lately. I’ll admit it… it’s not her… it’s totally me. Mostly because I’m trying to fit my pregnant life style going on 25 weeks meaning I’m

“tryyyyyying to spend as little energy as possible running after her”

as apparently it

“takes a lot of energy producing another daughter in my belly” (keep forgetting this).

This kind of conflicts with Valeria’s lifestyle “I’m now 13 months old, have been walking since 9 months so I’m going to start running and will complain if you put me in the stroller”.

I have to say, I don’t doubt her. As frustrated as she was NOT being able to walk already at 5 months I now wish her all the running in the world! So, as you might understand this means we have very different goals at the moment. Which leads to her not wanting to sit in the stroller for that long and for me wanting her to sit in the stroller for very long…

…so going somewhere has been a “bribing kind of show”. As in from the moment we’ve stepped outside… giving her something to eat until she gets tired of that after 10 min and then just complains for the rest of the way.

BUT I’ve seen the light now! A friend of mine recommended me to switch the stroller seat so she faces me again and knock on wood but so far it’s been working. I still bribe her but to a much less extent! 

Woopeliwoo!!!!

 

 

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Awesome weekend

We had such an ultra delux prepped chilled weekend! Brace yourselves, this will be a long post...

Bags were packed in time (who am I kidding, packed last minute), snacks had been purchased (on the way to the airport), Valeria had been hyped that we were travelling (actually forgot to but kind of told her on the way to the airport).

Oh and did I mention that hubby landed 3 hours before our flight from his work trip. He had been on a flight for 15+ hours and was kind of jet lagged so we kind of had the “perfect” energy (after my night where Valeria woke up every hour of the night) that’s required to fly with a one year old.   

....so we started our time at the airport with a coffee. AND after various games and imaginative ways to entertain our daughter on the flight we high fived each other in the rental car for not having snapped at each other, thinking we’re starting to get good at this. 

Favourite parts of the weekend

...had some super duper chill time at a spa hubby and I where we caught up on some hours of sleep. Feeling amazingly greatfull for family that helps us a lot and this time peters sister and her family who took care of Valeria 🙌

…met with some awesome friends whom I haven’t seen for a while and solved world problems.

…ate lots of good food

...chillidilled  

...slept

...ate more good food... 

kind of sums it all 🙌 

BRING IT ON MONDAY!

 

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I own horses

..not the living breathing kind but they are indeed racing ones.

I’m talking about the horses in a game you usually see at an amusement park. That game where you have to roll a ball into a hole for your horse to move forward. First horse across the finish line wins.

In my mind, this is the game I play. To me each horse represents a part of my company. Something I have to do. And they all have to reach the finish line. Product development, market research, brand building, finding producers, logistics, admin stuff, sales….. All of the horses have to reach the finish line. I won’t always be able to move all of them at the same time but if one of them is stuck for any reason I can be on alert and move some of the others in the meantime. It gives me an overview, a mental picture of how to prioritize. Not all horses are worth moving. Some horses have to get to the finish line first but are slower, and some will be faster at getting there once the first ones have finished.

My horses are how I see my life, how I see the things that need to move forward, my to do list, my motivation and reminder to keep going because eventually they will reach the finish line. Even when it doesn’t feel like things are moving forward, they are. It’s just one of the horses in the back moving forward. So although it doesn’t look like the front horse is getting closer to the finish line they will all cross eventually.

Earlier this week when I definitely was doing some heavy thinking about what horse to move forward……

My super ultra delux day

I’ll be honest….I don’t remember what I did this morning…hmmm…what did I actually do this morning…

Was thinking about the day, whilst putting Valeria to bed. I mean, whilst we were watching “night night circus”. Youtube it if you haven’t seen it. It’s my new favorite clip, has to be every parents favorite one. Watch it every night before I put her in her bed. She calms down, I fall asleep for a bit whilst trying to figure out what I did in the morning. CAN’T get any better than that.

Remember now, cleaner was here. Not any cleaner, but my life savior cleaner. Yup, we have a cleaner. We’re one of those couples who’ve always had a cleaner. Ok, ok, maybe not the first year of our relationship (12 years ago). But quickly when we realized our flat completely started falling apart, we got a cleaner. You who know me KNOW that when we say there’s a mess in our house, there truly is a mess. Okay, not that bad any more because we have a cleaner, but before, you wouldn’t be able to see the floor, nor use any of the dishes because they were all dirty. When it comes to cleaning both of our boundaries are pretty low. This is one of those things I thought was going to get better when we had our daughter but no…. I guess it’s because we both really despise doing it and therefore refuse doing it. Don’t get me wrong, we both love when it’s clean, hence our solution!

Anyhow, that totally spun out of hand, I mean my day was so super ultra interesting so I’m actually dying to write about it.

Here we go…..

….cleaner came, I took Valeria to a playground, I had to pee, went home, went out again for a walk with Valeria in the stroller, I got tired from walking (after 30 min, I’m really pregnant now..haha), had to pee again, realized cooking was overrated today, bought food at Italian deli, went home, had lunch, Valeria slept, I slept after working a bit, Valeria woke up, I woke up, I had coffee and made banana pancakes for her and an “ultra delux banana with quark, peanut butter and cinnamon burrito” kind of snack for me, I told Valeria lets go to “open pre-school” and got her dressed, we went out, we got to the tube station and I realized we were too short on time to make it, went to pick up package instead, realized there it’s not due until tomorrow, went home, made taco meatballs, read books and watched youtube, had evening snack, then put her to bed and now HERE I AM!

…did you follow me there…it’s totally fine if you didn’t….here are some pictures instead :D

 That famous morning walk!

That famous morning walk!

 I’d like to think she was wraaaing like a tiger here, but really she was just wining a bit.

I’d like to think she was wraaaing like a tiger here, but really she was just wining a bit.

 Valeria, my bump and I heading out again. These trousers are by the way the most comfortable and stylish (according to me) that I have at the moment.

Valeria, my bump and I heading out again. These trousers are by the way the most comfortable and stylish (according to me) that I have at the moment.

 Wish I was this easily entertained…playing with keys…maybe I should give it a go and it will surprise me…

Wish I was this easily entertained…playing with keys…maybe I should give it a go and it will surprise me…

Thoughts so far on starting my own company

...I think I’m over the part where it feels like I’ve jumped of a cliff...oh wait, actually it still pops up every now and then. Like now for example...

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...Im loving entering a new branch. Got this realisation after my first product meeting. It hit me that I’m so used to having product meetings with finance or data people. It was liberating having one that felt more creative!

...I have an awesome todo list that I work on...as soon as I get a moment...like now...my todo list is key for my mushy pregnant brain

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...bring on the mistakes! In any project I’ve done there have always been unforeseen things happening. The earlier I get them, the earlier I can fix them and move on. 

...importance of bouncing ideas with others and surrounding myself with people in the same mood. If you’re in a similar situation, would love to talk more!

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...at the same time I feel extremely impatient as I feel like I have gotten nowhere. But reminding myself that it takes time, be persistent and continue to push all ends. I’m doing this at the same time as being pregnant, taking care of our daughter, and organising something else big. So have to remind myself to give myself a break and think long term. (Although this feels like excuses, have to work on that)

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...I’m a result fanatic so want to see results now now now. Let’s kick ass this week!!!

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Lazy Sunday

You know those days when everything just fits perfectly! You literally feel like you can take over the world!

THAT was my morning! Got to sleep in an extra hour, went to a playground and took some nice photos, discovered I’d matched Valeria’s sweater with the leaves, took some more beautiful pictures, (I mean who doesn’t want to match their clothes to the seasons...), made an awesome pasta that we both loved despite the feta cheese being a bit too old (still tasted ok).... 

....then came the afternoon...the dip... the legendary downhill...the awesomest laziest Sunday - THEEE LAZY SUNDAY. Didn’t do shit for rest of the day and even the dinner was shit (Valeria threw it in the floor and I have to admit I wanted to as well...haha) so now treating you with the nice pictures from this morning 😂  

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Matching the leaves 🍁 

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Stole someone else’s toy!

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Rest of the day!  

Do you ever do things alone?

I do. Even went on holiday by myself a couple of years ago. Although I’m never alone these days with my bump V2  

Hence today’s mood

...felt keen on having a typical Saturday breakfast out

...found a new place I haven’t tried

...had a babysitter so I could enjoy it by myself. (Husband still travelling) 

 ...because I’m by myself I got a table right away

...the table happened to be a chair at another table with 5 Finnish speaking girls  

...the 5 Finnish speaking girls must have thought I was a pregnant person

...I couldn’t care less the place looked amazing! 

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 ...food was amazing

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...listened to an awesome podcast to entertain myself and wrote majority of this post.  “Framgångspodden”

...had a good start to the day

...decided to find another cafe to try out afterwards and get some work done. One with power outlets (my computer dies otherwise) 

...went shopping instead, I was on a role and found some styles for my bump. Comfy and classy I’d like to call it (although my fashion interest is limited and I want to be comfortable, I still want to look good) 

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